Peace, in Seas of Opinion

I did it again. I clicked.

I knew the guilt I’d likely feel afterwards. The self-doubt. The questions. But still I took the bait.

The title grabbed me. I just had to look.

Seconds later, transported, to another site among thousands, in the ever-growing world of the mommy blog.

Experience had taught me that titles can often be incredibly misleading when it comes to the myriad of internet “articles” we run across each day. On this occasion, the title was blatantly sensationalized, and it definitely piqued my curiosity. I was expecting to find out that yet another one of the products I use on my child is a “toxic death trap;” I was prepared to make myself feel better questioning the author’s cited “research,” and to justify to myself that we’re doing all we can right now to keep our family healthy. Instead, I found that the author’s sentiments were already much the same as my own. In her own words she was fed up with all the “rules,” opinions, judgments, critiques, etc. that fly  around the internet everyday and bombard busy moms who already have more “research” and information than we know what to do with.

I read her fed-up rant, and I thought, “Thank goodness I’m not the only one.”

I felt released momentarily from the burden of constantly comparing my mothering to others.

I felt relieved.

Until I read the stream of comments at the bottom of her post.

Suddenly my relief washed away as I read all kinds of conflicting opinions. Had I been deceived? Had I been wrong to agree with the author?

And so the vicious cycle continued. It’s one I have been caught in many times before. A battle of opinions on the internet suddenly becoming a swarm of questions and confusion in my own mind.

We live in an information age, and perhaps even more than that an opinion age. Even the most uninformed voices can be given huge platforms, and no opinions are discredited completely in an age where “truth” is self-defined and previously-held  absolutes are constantly questioned.

I wondered what we can do in the face of so many opinions.

This author’s view was basically, “forget about everyone else and just do the best you can.” And while this provided some temporary relief to my overthinking, overwhelmed mind, I soon realized that this does nothing to bring real peace to my soul.

And that’s what we’re all really looking for.

Peace.

Validation that we’re doing something right (that’s why we LOVE sharing articles that express opinions similar to our own).

The comfort of knowing you’ve done all you can.

Rest-- for our minds and hearts-- from the constant striving made worse by the constant stream of information we receive each day.

Where can I find this peace and rest? How can I cease from striving long enough to truly enjoy and savor the gifts God has given me? Where can I find definitive answers that will free me from the constant noise of opinion?

And when I stop to ask myself these questions outright, the answer seems so obvious, that I feel silly for even asking them.

“Go to the source, daughter.”

“Come to me all you who are weary and heavy-laden.”

“Rest in me. My yoke is easy; my burden is light.”

“I am the truth.”

Of course.

It’s Jesus.

He’s the source of that peace and rest that we so desperately crave, that I crave. He is the Prince of Peace. It’s no small wonder that we feel jaded or despondent or just plain confused when we spend SO MUCH TIME listening to the opinions of other people on the internet and in social media and comparatively so little time listening to Jesus, whose every opinion is actually the absolute truth.  

Believe me, the irony is not lost on me, that you are in fact reading an opinion piece at this very moment. I hope and pray that it will move you simply to shut off the screen, stop listening to me and to all the other voices out there, crack open your Bible and then just listen. Be still. Be silent. Make a habit of this. And watch if your anxiety doesn’t melt a little bit with each passing day as you replace all the “noise” with stillness, and all of the words and expectations of people you’ve never even met with the Words of God.

I am writing this for myself really, but praying that someone else will find something helpful along the way too. I am on a journey to find more stillness, to not fill every spare minute with activity and noise. A journey of repentance- of turning from my self-centered idol of approval. A journey of walking away from the need for constant validation from people, and towards a more thorough appreciation of God’s constant love for me in Jesus.  A journey away from late nights looking at a screen to early mornings looking at the pages of my Bible. I don’t know how I’ve gotten so far away from such a fundamental part of my faith, but I’m determined to reclaim it, and convinced that I’ll walk away from it with more peace of mind, wisdom, and assurance than all the “research” in the world could provide.

I am early on in the journey. And I am usually too much of a perfectionist to mention things like this publicly, for fear that I’ll fail, and I won’t be the perfect example. But I need the accountability. And I’ve started to recognize that my perfectionism is part of the problem too. Perfectionism isn’t a virtue; it’s sin, and it has induced anxiety, constant comparison, and pride in my life for long enough.

Will you join me on this journey- towards more meaningful rest, more self-control with social media, a more thorough understanding of the Gospel, more discipline in the Word and prayer, more savoring the good gifts God has given you?

I’m not sure what that road will look like for you, or what shape it will take in your life, but I’m pretty confident of the destination:

Peace.

It’s all any of us really wants.

And the Prince of Peace is waiting.