Two years ago today...

It is two years today since Jake Fowler passed from this life and into the next, immediately sharing in the presence of God, but all the while leaving me with a gaping hole in my heart and life. I am currently writing while overlooking the very same spring where his life was taken on June 27, 2011. Children are still jumping and playing in the spring, laughing with their friends, and doing all the typical camp “things.” Life goes on. To be honest, there were many times in these last 2 years, where I wondered if that was really true, but here, looking back, I can see that indeed it is. Life in many ways has gone on for me too. I have survived.

I am more whole now than I ever could have expected two years ago when my heart was first ripped to shreds. The LORD has been incredibly faithful to me and I am so thankful for all of the ways that He has spoken to me and strengthened me on this journey of grief.

I have been thinking about what I would  share on this day for a while now, and the LORD has continually led me back to Psalm 77. The first part of the chapter speaks volumes about the pain and questions and sleepless nights that we walk through when we are faced with deep sorrow, and the latter half about a GOD who is in control and walks with us through our afflictions, but these are the verses I am hiding in my heart today:

“I will remember the deeds of the LORD;

Yes, I will remember your wonders of old.

I will ponder all your work,

and meditate on your mighty deeds.”

Psalm 77:11,12

The LORD has taken me on an incredible journey, and much of who I am today has been redefined in the last two years, as my dreams have died and been reborn, my character reworked and my priorities realigned. He has given me a powerful story and worked in amazing ways, but as time goes on sometimes I forget to remember all that.

I forget to remember His faithfulness when I am hurting.

I forget to remember His provision when I am needy.

I forget to remember His care when I am anxious.

I forget to remember the amazing works He has done in my life, not merely in sustaining me through grief, but in saving me from sin and giving me hope in the face of death!

And so I meditate on the words of Psalm 77, that I will remember the deeds of the LORD, the intimate and detailed ways He has cared for me and orchestrated my life. I will ponder all His works, not just His works in grief which are frequently the subject of this blog, but ALL His works. I want to ponder and reflect on ALL that He says and does.

It is so easy in that daily monotony of ordinary life to forget all of the wondrous things GOD has done for us. My challenge for you today is that you would remember too.

Remember the works of the LORD in your life.

Remember His love.

Remember His care.

Remember the words He has spoken.

Remember that if you have given your life to Him, He has given you eternal life in return.

Take some time today, no, make some time today, to quiet yourself before the LORD and reflect on the course of your life. Remember the times and ways that GOD has been faithful to you and shown Himself to you. And in remembering, be encouraged that no pain is wasted. And no story is given without a reason.

Use your story, whatever it is, for His glory. 

And remember the works of the LORD, for they are marvelous indeed.